I know....I know what you are thinking.....the last time you talked to me was a year ago. So what all has happened since we last talked....
oh you know....a little of this and that. We won the lottery, bought some ocean front property, I got my own show on Oprah's new network! Oh and I'm totally full of shit!
Well the truth is ...I got my heart broken when the doctor confirmed I have PCOS, had a little nervous breakdown to start the summer of with a bang, started two new jobs, met with an alternative medicine specialist, told clomid to suck it...and basically tried like hell to put the thought of you in the back of my brain. Don't get me wrong....I still want you terribly, but I also wanted some sanity and I could feel myself losing it...and believe me baby...if momma is crazy, you don't wanna be anywhere near that.
I'm doing a lot better now baby....yes I still get a twinge of jealousy when I see an announcement on facebook, but it doesn't make me cry anymore....when you start losing your ability to be happy for other people...you need to check yourself. I started looking into a more natural way to treat my condition by using progesterone cream and who woulda thunk it IT WORKS!!!! (I'm not brave enough yet to go to the doctor to find out if I'm ovulating) I've also spent a lot of time giving myself a freaking break. I'm an overachiever so not meeting you after two years of really looking for you has made me feel like I'm less than...and I honestly don't want another pseudo niece or nephew...I want you....so yeah....what are we gonna do about that?!?!?!
Here is my new plan of attack!!!!!! I have developed this growing obsession with all things Bethenny Frankel...don't worry mom will tell you all about her when you get here. Well anyway, she is this go getter who came out of hell and has really made a life for herself. She is also pretty damn funny. She has a book called A Place of Yes! (yes I know..you are already loving her from the title) I've spent a really long time living in the what if and why me and it's never going to happen that I've lost a bit of my fierceness. Reading this book is helping me get my groove back. I'm almost finished...I've only allowed myself one chapter a week because it is so right on and so good that I need to absorb it all. Once I am finished I am going to take each of the 10 steps and really engulf myself in them for a month......so for the next 10 months this blog will be dedicated not only to you but to coming from a place of yes and let's see how it changes us for the good.
So starting June 1st I AM COMING FROM A PLACE OF YES......now I have no idea if it will make you come any faster.....but I also know it can't hurt to be my best self if you do decide you'd like to come along. I long for you everyday and I believe.
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